I'm a different breed, and I'm crazy

Today I salute you, stressed out college student, as you sit in your lonely cubical in the library, doped up on Starbucks and Adderall. You think to yourself, 'Am I ever going to need to know this stuff in life?!?' The distractions are tempting and you have suddenly diagnosed yourself with ADD along with advanced delusionary schizophrenia with involuntary narcissistic rage. I'm sure by now you know exactly what everyone is doing because you've checked your Facebook, Twitter, Tumblr, Flickr, and even Myspace account 800 times. Christmas break is just days away, and your Prozac prescription will be in tomorrow. So crack open an ice cold drink after that last exam, because for most of us, Christmas will be spent in rehab.